When you do not have a partner – through bereavement or whatever, one of the things you miss out on are all the little anniversaries, gifts and occasions which you would share as a couple.
One of these is Valentine’s Day. The day in the year when one celebrates love, connection and being with a partner.
Without that special person you can feel left out, lonely, forgotten, unloved and unappreciated.
So why not change that and create something JUST FOR YOU?
The “Just for you” idea is especially important as the one person who you have 24/7 connection with IS YOU! So, you could make it a daily ritual whether you have a partner or not! (Just don’t make it a cream cake, a bottle of wine for one every day – which is not healthy!)
7 Ways to keep Love and Romance present for you even without having a partner
Gift yourself a whole day of Self-Love
Get creative in ways to remind yourself you are truly deeply loved and appreciated by yourself. All the way through the day, every hour if possible – do something to remind yourself of this.
- It could be giving yourself a loving hug with your own arms.
- Creating a healthy and delicious breakfast, lunch and supper – made with love, beautifully presented – because YOU matter, and eaten slowly to savour every part.
- Handwritten love notes around the house
- Go to your favourite place – your sanctuary – where you feel safe, cherished and cared for
- Dance to your favourite music
- Reading a treasured book or poem about self-love
- Treating yourself to a massage or facial
- Buying some new underwear that makes you feel fabulous…
Gift yourself a special gift
This could be something you have been longing for, for ages and never felt worthy of. (Isn’t it interesting how often we don’t buy something we want because we think it may be frivolous or wasteful?) May it really special, not just a fleeting fancy! Something that will always remind you how fantastic you really are!
Perhaps some beautiful jewellery or a much admired vase you have been hankering after. A holiday / retreat might get booked or have a spa day. It is your choice.
Get out and about into the natural world
Being in and surrounded by the natural world can get back your true sense of perspective and wonder. It also brings a sense of order and grounding that helps to have you realise that you are only part of a much bigger world and experience.
Nature levels out emotions, understanding and shows you how many different ways love and beauty shows up, everyday, that we often miss!
Go for a walk in your neighbourhood – and really look, listen, feel, taste and experience the world about you. If it is a wilder place, so much the better. It could be a wood, beach, heathland, park, coastline, mountain. Sit in it, touch it, feel its soul talking to you. Allow the time to take it all in.
Get in touch with people – your family and friends
Humans are social animals. We are designed to be in communication, share experiences and our thoughts and feelings. So, share your day with people who you hold special or who you admire. It could be family or your friends. Your neighbours or a particular community with shared interests.
Create the connection with them. Be known by them and understand them and their lives better by asking questions or see things from their perspective. Share your friendship and love.
Quit being an adult, with adult responsibilities for a few hours or a day – Go and have some fun!
Make a mess with some crafty things; jump on a trampoline; see a comedy show; go dancing and dress up…. Find some children and play silly games – hide and seek or tickle fights! Create an adventure and exploration of what is possible for the day.
Shift your focus away from “what you would usually do with a partner” and be different.
Its a bit like playing charades or trying on a new coat which you wouldn’t usually wear… you become someone else! Your personality changes with the clothes style. For example – you feel and act differently if you are in an evening gown or top hat and tails compared to a slouchy top and jeans!
Who would you like to become for the day? What would that look, feel, taste or smell like? Do something completely different and find a whole new you. Who will you become, like dressing up? Get as creative as you like!
Be generous and kindly to yourself
It is always so easy to make yourself wrong for how we “should be”. What we say, how we look, how we are with others… but you live with YOU 24 hours a day. You owe it to yourself to love and support yourself in whatever way YOU NEED.
Praise yourself, be gentle on yourself – whether that is not carrying all the shopping in, in one go or allowing yourself an extra half hour in bed when the alarm clock calls..
Tell me in the comments how you will spend Valentine’s Day, and how you intend to maker it special.
© Great Guidelines for Later Life 2018