This might not be a question that many people ask of themselves – often we just assume that we know!… but the answer isn’t the same for everyone – so let’s explore this line of enquiry..
Firstly – you need to know HOW to answer this question perhaps? We are all different and there is no right or wrong way.. Some may answer it from their own life standpoint – what is important to THEM; others from what is important from a family / legacy point of view. Others from a short term perspective, some from a lifetime’s perspective – and more!
The good news is YOU get to choose. For this discussion though I shall look at it from a family / legacy perspective.
So – coming from the point of view of having a generation or two who you have created (literally!) – what is important to you?
For those who have a partner – often they come top of the tree. Some may say children though and others, knowing that their own children are “taken care of” – they may come up with grandchildren.
This brings up more questions – what is it about these people which give them importance?
- It is that you want to spend time with them or love them as much as possible?
- Do you want to ensure that they are cared for and looked after, even after you have gone?
- Do you want to ensure that they have the opportunities and experiences that you never had a chance to get?
- Is it that you want to teach them things and pass your experience down the line?
The more you can get clear, the better it is. Clarity of vision gets you to see if you are doing this, or, if you are saying that it is important to you, but actually doing / causing something different!
Let me give you an example… I was talking to a middle aged man who said he was passionate about children welfare and safety. What transpired was what that he was doing about this was different from what he said about it though. The actions belied the words!
Five years ago he had been leading seminars and courses for child protection in his spare time. Now – he no longer did this, and indeed he was even struggling to ask his sister if he could take his two teenage and 20 year old nieces out for an “Uncle’s Day”!
His reality had changed from being “on the court” to hardly having any interactions with children or their parents at all, never mind around the area of child protection and safety. In discussion he got to see that at some point he had given up as it seemed “too hard to maintain it and make a difference”.
It was clear that he was still passionate about family / children, but that the actions had stopped. So together we created some new actions to take so that he could create time together with his nieces and really engage in their lives. He confessed that he would lavish gifts on them – but what most children especially want is YOUR TIME and ATTENTION!
This image has another choice for you – but it takes the emotion out of the conversation – this tactic may help when making choices around what is important to you when you are a parent / grandparent too!
My point is this: if you say your family are important to you (or anything) – then this WILL show up in actions which align with this.
What have YOU seen for yourself in this conversation? What new openings can you take on? What may need to be adjusted – either mentally, emotionally or physically so that firstly YOU are re-aligned; and then perhaps the rest of the world can become aligned with your ideas..?
Comment below and share your own experience – or do son on the Great Guidelines Facebook Page (LINK HERE)
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