Christmas and the holidays can seem a crazy time to have difficult conversations with parents or grandparents who are getting older – but it really makes sense!
Gayle explains why and how to do this without trepidation.
Talking to your loved one about what may happen in the future and what their wishes are around their own mortality can be a huge “elephant in the room” for many. But the converse is true too. Once done, a new closeness is created.
It can cause real concern and upset if these powerful conversations NEVER take place. The opportunity is lost, and the choices and understanding which goes along with this in that moment cannot be returned to.
The unspoken conversation between you can lead to a distance in your relationship with that person. The embarrassment, confusion, not wanting to cause upset (whatever the reason may be) leads to incomplete relationships and a loss of, or poorer love, relatedness and communication.
There is often an unspoken but incorrect understanding that saying nothing is better than causing a potential upset. Is this making sense? Can you relate to this yourself with one or more relationships of your own?
Well let me tell about a little secret – however well you think you may be hiding something – you aren’t! Your body language gives you away every time even if what comes out of your mouth can be a lie!
So – why bother at all?
The biggest pay-off for starting the conversation:
- You get the subject aired
- It has probably been bugging you for ages (and them!) which takes energy to either maintain or try to forget!
- Everyone can state their point of view
- Conversations and debate can take place
- Decisions can be made
- New realities can be put into action
- The future looks different to everyone!
So, how do you start?
A great free tool for you is to download and / or print out the Great Guidelines Starter Kit. It’s a free tool kit of checklists and assessments designed to help everyone start these conversations! You will find that the End of Life Assessment towards the back is the best tool to use.
So, why not give it a go – get your copy now. Print out a spare copy for a parent or grandparent or even a friend, and add it to their Christmas present! Believe me.. they may be trying to forget about how they will manage getting older and that it needs to be planned – but trying to avoid it takes more energy than taking those first bold steps!
One of the biggest challenges is knowing what to do, and when. Having no structure to work to makes it nigh on impossible for most people. Great Guidelines gives you the structure, and makes it easy. Start here with the Starter Kit!
© Great Guidelines for Later Life. All Rights Reserved.
If you have found this useful, then you will find the whole Freedom at the End of Life Course even more inspiring and it’s a relief to know that it can all be managed in just one place, one-step-at-a-time.
It is now available as a fully printed and bound copy. Often much easier for seniors to manage and come back to than a computer copy.
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