Choice – it is one of the main attributes which perhaps separates us from many other animals. The ability to choose conceptual and practical things. Have you noticed that as people get older the choices that they make can change?
Have you ever wondered why you choose to do one thing one way, and another totally differently?
Have you ever considered how many choices you make every single day? Tea or coffee, stand up, sit down, open the curtains before getting dressed or after breakfast or…
Human beings are choice producing machines!
Just how and why do you do it? and what are the mechanisms behind your choices?!
Never thought about it before? Well let’s explore a bit more deeply – and you may uncover something which opens your eyes to a whole new world!
How do you choose?
It isn’t necessarily random is it? What is the process? Let’s examine the function of choosing in more detail.
Here is a simple exercise to help, just follow it through…no cheating! If you can do it with a partner it works much better!
The scenario is this: There are 2 ice creams. One is chocolate. One is vanilla. You can choose either. You say the flavour and then you have to say why you choose the flavour that you choose.
One person says, “What flavour do you choose? Chocolate or Vanilla?”
You have to say “I choose (either Vanilla or Chocolate) because…” and you give a reason as to why you have chosen one or the other.
So, as a few examples…
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose vanilla because
- I prefer vanilla
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose chocolate because I don’t like vanilla but would prefer strawberry!
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose chocolate because it makes my tummy feel lovely!
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose chocolate because it goes well with my chocolate flake.
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose vanilla because I like the colour.
“What flavour do you choose? Vanilla or chocolate?”
I choose vanilla because ……..
OK, so once whoever is doing the choosing has run out of reasons, at some point, hopefully, there comes a realisation! Try to keep going until you get there…
It’s a Eureka moment!
So hopefully, eventually, the person choosing says something along the lines of –
“I choose vanilla (or chocolate) because I choose vanilla! Ta-da!
Why is this so special? Well humans are brilliant at justifying why they do something. It is a good thing – but actually it can also limit us. I will say a bit more about this below.. but for now –
The statement “I choose X because I choose X” is so powerful because you get that you can choose something just because you say that you choose it. The choice doesn’t have any attachment or story or drama or reason behind it!
This is true freedom to choose!
The other reasons in the previous statements are less powerful – even if they may be true!
Most people have no realisation that choice can be such a simple thing! It takes away all the emotion and reasoning. This can be truly liberating.
Here is an example. If you are tidying up a drawer of old clothes and bits and bobs… If you choose for NO REASON – you can throw away or give away far more things without cause for upset.
The article may be worn out, tatty, not fit any more etc. but without the ability to freely choose – your “because reasons” keep you stuck – and it, still in the drawer!
This is a powerful distinction.
It means that just by choosing you can now either keep it or throw it away much more easily.
You can still choose to keep it – for any number of reasons of course. Or you can see that the reasons may not quite justify the keeping in the same way – and may be willing to part with it.
Life is all about choices. Some we have made have been great, others disasters. Oddly – we survive most of them.
As one gets older – the reasons of why you do something, or not, increase and become more complex. This can tie you up in knots, get you confused, feel hopeless and truly stuck. There is no freedom in this.
Getting older is a series of little deaths to manage and deal with. It can be on the level of what foods you eat, where you go or where you live. How far you can walk or drive and when. It can also be on a mental or emotional level – you could give up the fight for something you believe in.
Being able to choose because you can CHOOSE it rather than the reasons brings your power and freedom. It will help with everything – why? Because on a very basic level choice IS simple.
Choice is binary. A or B. Vanilla or chocolate. Yes or no.
Keep it simple and life get’s simpler.
Here is another schema that I made up which you may find helpful too…
© Gayle Palmer. Great Guidelines for Later Life.
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Gayle Palmer, the creator of Great Guidelines for Later Life - The world’s most thorough, comprehensive and supportive, one-stop resource for all seniors and their families who are ready to get their lives in order before they die AND help them to live out their days having a life they love, clear in the knowledge that they have done everything they need to. She has developed various courses, programmes and workshops for seniors and their families to work through, leaving no stone un-turned.
Gayle’s experience of over 25 years as an Osteopath, treating thousands of people and helping them through similar worries and concerns only strengthens her knowledge and commitment to you too. Her expertise is not only in the physical realm but emotional, mental and spiritual too. All Rights are Reserved. Â
